E-mail Articulation

Just e-mailed this to the officiating minister of our wedding, who was checking in. There, I found some words I needed to say.

We do have to remind ourselves often of what the running around is for so as not to be overcome by the details. But really, it is the issue of perspective, expectations and trust that continues to threaten our joy most. With moving boxes and setting up house, I’ve been reminded that we are much like college roommates, still discovering the boundaries and style of our shared and individual living space. And we bump corners there more often than we agree. For all the joy of such a union, there is still the inherent (not necessarily negative) culture shock of adjusting to new space (both literal and figurative). And when both of us come into it having spent a lot of emotional energy chiseling exactly what it is suppose to look and feel like, those bumps can start feeling bigger than they really are. Even when I know my expectations are out of whack, my heart (where I dwell most comfortably) cannot be bullied into awareness; it still wants to feel slighted and irritated. The prayers have been for perspective: to realize that which shelf we put the plates and cups really doesn’t matter at all. The reminder of healthier perspective comes when we’re with someone else and our attention is diverted from self-circumspection and other-suspicion. It’s like we’re sacramentally transformed into union when we stop thinking about it. Why can’t we just choose to not take it so seriously?? :)